I piled every movie I’ve ever watched that was a waste of time in a grain silo in southern Oregon, near the California border. The stack reached the very top. Then, as another exercise, I put all of the books I’ve ever read in a neat pile next to the movies and hung my head. The book stack wasn’t even half as high.

I’ve decided to organize a work party this weekend. All of my friends and family are invited. I’m going to buy a very tall ladder and unstack Beverly Hills Cop, Kindergarten Cop, all of the Police Academies, and so on. I’ll pass each movie down, hand by hand.

And we’re building a huge arch with the cases, unrolling all the tape on the VHS spools and making a giant pool, a figure 8. Then we’re all going swimming.

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